With more than twenty years’ experience producing reality television in just about every genre, I’ve endured many long and stressful hours working under extremely strict deadlines – deadlines that seem to get tighter with every passing series. We’re under the gun day in and day out and we must prove ourselves again and again. In Hollywood, after all, we’re only as good as our most recent episode.
The stress can, literally, be a killer. We’ve probably all heard stories about the producer jamming through the nineteenth straight hour, all hopped up on Red Bull, pushing harder and harder until a moment later, boom, spread out on the floor unconscious. Many studies show that the workplace is the #1 cause of stress in the United States. According to the American Institute of Stress, 80% of workers feel stress on the job – and nearly half report they need help in learning how to manage that stress.
And working in reality television, when our hours can easily exceed 60 every week, when our paychecks keep getting smaller and we’re asked to do more and more, yeah, that stress can really knock us all for a loop.
However, I don’t think it matters which occupation is considered the most stressful – a reality TV producer or an accountant or a police officer – but what matters, to me, is the attitude we take toward our work and the perception we have of ourselves at work. You may find a most Zenlike hostage negotiator… and a gardener seething with fury.
It’s not the job. It’s the person.
Back in 2010 I decided to do something about how I managed job stress. I didn’t want to quit my job – I really do enjoy working in reality television – but I knew that in order to continue to do my job well, not keel over, and help take care of my family, I’d need to find a way to deal with stress in a healthy way.
I didn’t want to be the guy who yelled at everyone at work. I didn’t want to be the guy who kept everything inside and walked around the halls a bitter, stalking mess. I didn’t want to pass out on the job. I wanted to cultivate an attitude of centeredness. I wanted to think clearly, make good decisions calmly, and make sure that whenever I interacted with someone it was always with respect.
Yet, I also didn’t want to come off as sleepy or uncaring; in television production if we’re not moving at hyperspeed we fall behind.
The big question was: how do I walk this line?
I began in 2010 with yoga. I found a link to a short, twenty-minute yoga and breathing routine on YouTube. Standing in what’s known as Mountain Pose, with my legs spread apart about a foot and a half, I inhaled a deep breath through my nose and held it, pressed my palms together at chest level and pushed upward until my hands were over my head – while exhaling through my mouth. I imagined the stress leaving my body as I pushed it out.
I followed this with downward dog, upward dog, cobra, child’s pose, Warrior I, II, and III.
My goal: twenty minutes every morning.
Yeah, I didn’t hit that mark. Not at first. During the first month, I probably hit about 80% or so. Not bad. I drilled down the next month and hit 90%. I built up until it was habit. I also kept in mind that if I stressed out about hitting 100% that would not be the right mindset! So, I did my best and continued to hit about 90-95%. Some days I’d have to be at work earlier, or the kids would need to be driven to school earlier, etc. I went with the flow.
After a few weeks, I noticed a wonderful difference: when I arrived at work, I felt buoyant. When facing a stressful situation, I felt a calmness settle over me. I executed creative decisions with greater efficiency. My work productivity increased. I became faster. Yet, I felt less stress.
As my yoga practice has evolved, I’ve added some yoga poses and replaced others. I’ve added mantras, which are short affirmative statements that one recites while practicing yoga, such as ‘With every breath, I feel myself relaxing.’
Let’s do a quick exercise.
Look away from your screen. Check in to your breathing. Are you breathing shallow? Quickly? Are you nervous about something? Anxious? When we’re anxious, our breathing will get quick and shallow. When we practice mindful breathing, taking deep breaths and exhaling slowly, we can program ourselves to release stress.
First the breath. Then the thought. Then the action. It all starts with breath.
Some two years after I began my program of yoga, I added a program of meditation. At first, I meditated on my breath. Breathing in through my nose, I observed how the air drew in cold, how it felt to hold it, and how it felt to release it through my mouth. I counted off the seconds: five seconds on inhale, hold for seven seconds, release for ten seconds. As a creative person, my thoughts tend to churn like a river during a flash flood. And not just about creative challenges. My fun little brain really likes to worry about the future. It really likes to spin scenarios. “This [insert not fun thing here] is so gonna happen and it’s so gonna suck totally!” So, when I first started meditating, I just sat there in the agitating madness of my thoughts.
But over time, I’ve come to be able to slow my thoughts to a crawl. How? While breathing slowly and deeply, I imagine myself sitting on a wide stone by a river. My thoughts are fall leaves drifting by in the tranquil river. I observe and recognize my thoughts, but I don’t dwell on them. They simply exist. They pass by, and they are gone.
And for me – this is huge.
It’s not a perfect science, I must admit. It’s not easy to quiet my thoughts, but it’s easier.
I get out of bed every morning around 6 or 6:30, but by the time I get to work at 9:00 or 9:30, I feel invigorated and ready to tackle the day’s challenges. Meditation fills me with a relaxed and centered energy that I direct toward my creative endeavors, and, as a wonderful side benefit, my relationship with my family has improved as well.
These days I’m focusing on two main things when I meditate:
Gratitude
Humility
Why gratitude and humility? Through all the insanity of long and stressful work hours, through all the network notes and the deadlines and the creative puzzles, I am grateful for my work and for everything I have. That top-down understanding presents my work world in a totally different light: I release anger and frustration and allow myself to open up to a grateful and humble mindset.
I don’t allow myself to be taken advantage of, however. It’s not about becoming as docile as a doe. I’ll defend my position, whether it be a story matter or a financial (read: paycheck) matter, but I move through my work world with a sense of respect, gratitude, and humility.
When a stressful event occurs, I feel myself recognizing that the situation could be stressful, but instead of reacting, I simply act.
And that’s a big difference.
Now, I can’t say that I have removed all stress from my body and mind. I am, after all, a human being. I have learned, however, to manage the stress so that it doesn’t get the best of me, so that it doesn’t interrupt my day to day, prevent me from accomplishing tasks, or cause me to spin out. And some stress can actually be good. We can use stress to motivate us to change something about our lives or situation that we feel needs improvement.
I’ve had many people ask me for my secret to serenity. Some have taken my advice and have found calmer waters upon which to navigate their lives. I am grateful that I have had the opportunity to shine some of the love and light that I’ve found within myself.
I believe, at my core, practicing mindfulness in the workplace can not only revitalize our work environment but also improve our health and our relationships.
In an environment in which 25% of people polled by the American Institute of Stress actually feel like screaming on the job, I believe it’s vital to manage stress in a healthy way – and for me, yoga and meditation have brought me the mindfulness I needed to grow both professionally and personally.